Mixture Feeling

i cant sleep.. i think i need someone to talk to, do i?? i came back at around 4pm++, so late is bcuz need to fetch ppl home (i was not the driver, i was just the last one been sent back home) then teman fren to cut hair, when i reach home, i realize i dun have house key with me, wait until my parent come back, when i got to go to my bed, i keep thinking a lot of things, when almost fall asleep, my sis called, i was like ...."@#$%^*?!@#"

i keep thinking wat i did today, i realize when something doesn go accordingly, not wat i wan, i'll complain (in my heart, no one knows, i think..), i'll b very frustrated, i'm just like keep holding my "precious", as in like protecting it without considering or caring ppl around me, i think bcuz of tis, i feel very bad..

suddenly, i feel like giving up everything tat i'm doing, i just feel like wanna start all over again.. dunno y i feel like doing social work, i feel like building up people, feel like doing something which is meaningful n not wasting my life time.. *putting up angel's cloth* ha! sounds like i did a worse thing, need to do something good to pay back wat i did..

ok, my mum just came into my room and ask me, wat time can we go for dinner.. mm.. i think today can go early, cuz i cant dwell into my bed embracement..


* "precious" <- something or/and someone, anyway, currently i'm not into a relationship, i know ppl around me suspecting me but i'm not.. for now..
** if can, i wish God could rite beside me, i can see Him face to face, or atleast i can hear His voice physically, know what He wanna speak to me, know wat He wan me to do, know what is He thinking about me....